Why Boys Don't Talk and Why It Matters
There is a nationwide crisis among boys. “Violence has become one of the very few means by which boys feel they can express their emotions,” note respected teen experts Susan Morris Shaffer and Linda Perlman Gordon, LCSW-C, M.Ed. “We have seen evidence of this in the rapid escalation of shootings in our schools and in our homes. When boys lack the full range of affiliations and emotional expressiveness, they often turn to competitive models defined by winning or losing. By allowing competition to be one of the few acceptable models of expression of emotion, parents and educators undercut boys’ ability to succeed in a variety of areas.
In addition, boys begin to think of themselves as ‘winners or losers,’ and those who are labeled as ‘losers’ can become dangerous to themselves and others.”
In Why Boys Don't Talk and Why It Matters: A Parent’s Survival Guide to Connecting with Your Teen (McGraw Hill Trade Paperback, January 2005, $14.95), Ms. Shaffer and Ms. Gordon address the harsh realities and societal pressures facing teenage boys today, and provide parents from a wide variety of cultures with essential suggestions on how to maintain emotional connections with their sons. They interviewed teenage boys and girls, mothers, fathers, coaches, counselors, teachers, and psychologists to outline issues.
From these findings, they provide strategies for parents, and identify resources for increasing the ways in which boys can both stay connected and become men.
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Why Boys Don't Talk and Why It Matters:
A Parent's Survival Guide to Connecting with your Teen
(McGraw-Hill, December 2004)
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Tips for Parents